How to feel what you want in intimacy
Hello, beautiful community!
This week is about the kind of pleasure that doesn’t end at a finish line. Two conversations to listen to: ecstasy as a state you build together rather than a peak to chase, and desire named as a feeling, not just an act. Two short reads: touch that doesn’t wait for an occasion, and the case for staying a little unsure of someone you know by heart. And from us, a practice for keeping sensation in the foreground tonight, even as attention drifts.
With love, the Liminal team.
Worth listening to
Ep. 411: The Book of Ecstasy: Finding Joy, Connection, and Transformation Beyond Orgasm, Better Sex, with Barbara Carrellas
Ecstasy as a lived state, not a trophy at the end. Barbara’s case for treating pleasure as something you build together, starting long before any finish line appears.
How Do You Want To Feel During Sex?, Sex and Psychology
Not just what you want to do, but how you want to feel: adored, powerful, wanted, cared for. Starting with the feeling makes the rest of it more specific, more honest, and easier to actually ask for.
Worth reading
Physical Touch: The Small Everyday Habit That Helps Couples Feel Safe, Seen, and Connected, Marina Edelman, LMFT
A hand on the arm, a hug held two seconds longer than it needs to be. Small, ordinary touch that doesn’t need an occasion, just its own way of saying I see you.
How “Certainty” Undermines Intimacy and New Possibilities, Kenneth Silvestri
Being certain you already know someone forecloses the curiosity intimacy actually runs on. Kenneth’s case for staying a little unsure of the person you have loved for years.
From Liminal
A solo practice built to keep sensation in the foreground, so pleasure has somewhere to land even when your mind tries to wander.
Tantric-inspired practices for beginners, as a couple
Past the mystique, the practical core is learnable in an evening: breath, gaze, stillness, unhurried attention. A way in for two people curious about the ecstatic side of this issue’s podcast pick.