When you're ready, together

An Hour of the Wheel

Put your phones in airplane mode. Move at the pace of the slower partner. You can stop at any time.

Phase 1 of 6

Set up and brief

Sit facing each other, clothed. Decide a body limit beforehand: non-genital touch only, or genitals included, name it now. Decide who is Partner A and who is Partner B. The four quadrants are: Serve (give for them), Accept (receive a gift), Take (touch for you), Allow (let them take).

Phase 2 of 6

A accepts, B serves

Partner B asks: 'How would you like to be touched, for your pleasure?' Partner A asks for one specific thing within the limit. Partner B gives only that, for ten minutes. Partner A's job is to feel the gift arriving. When time is up, Partner A says thank you.

Phase 3 of 6

A allows, B takes

Partner B asks: 'May I touch you for my own pleasure, within the limit we set?' Partner A agrees or adjusts the limit. Partner B touches Partner A in whatever way is pleasurable to Partner B, within the limit. Partner A's job is to feel themselves being enjoyed, not to perform. Notice: this is Take and Allow.

Phase 4 of 6

B accepts, A serves

Swap roles. Partner A asks: 'How would you like to be touched, for your pleasure?' Partner B chooses within the limit. Partner A gives only that, for ten minutes.

Phase 5 of 6

B allows, A takes

Partner A asks: 'May I touch you for my own pleasure, within the limit we set?' Partner B agrees or adjusts. Partner A touches Partner B in whatever way is pleasurable to Partner A, within the limit. Partner B allows without directing.

Phase 6 of 6

Close

Sit facing each other. Each names one quadrant that felt easy and one that felt unfamiliar. No analysis, just naming. Hold hands for a final minute of shared breath.

Coming back

After the ritual

  • Avoid debriefing the experience for the rest of the night.
  • Drink water.
  • Notice over the next few days whether you can recognize which quadrant a touch is in, even in daily life.
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